Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style!

RIP TO THE “PILOT’S PILOT”

BOB HOOVER

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whom both Chuck Yeager and Jimmy Doolittle called,

“the greatest stick-and-rudder pilot who ever lived.”

From WWII fighter pilot to ’50’s test pilot, to show-stopping aerobatics, Bob did it all.

GODSPEED, BOB

THE AVIATION COMMUNITY WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

Story: http://www.airspacemag.com/history-of-flight/simply-the-best-10490510/?no-ist

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Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style!

Ladies & Gents, From the FRIGHT Deck . . .Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style! Happy Halloween

It’s my favorite holiday of the year, and time to share one of my favorite posts for some good, if morbid, Halloween guffaws . . .

Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style! Morbid edition

a 2016 Updated post!

But First . . .

THANKS TO YOU

aux-all-books-copy-2

Book sales this period have donated $1,000

to the Orphan Charities:

FlyingKites.org

KinshipUnited.org

Skateistan.org

CONGRATULATIONS! AND HAPPY  AVIATION LITERARY ADVENTURES!

amazon.com/author/ericauxier

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This year for Halloween, I decided to dress as the (second) scariest monster I could think of . . .

aux Donald Trump Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style!

Bunny was going to dress as the “First Lady of Scary”, but instead she’s gonna go as Melania Trump!

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Cloud Formation Spotting, Aviation-style

Do you ever lay back in the grass and imagine formations in the clouds? Well, guess what: you can do that with weather radar as well! While I shared a couple of them with you earlier this year, I saved one frightfully special figure for this Halloween post! Check these out:

RADAR BUNNY

Radar Bunny Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style!

Aw, so cute!

Oh, really? Just look at all that scary red and yellow!

As one pilot put it, the “bunny” from the freaky movie, “Donnie Darko!”

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RADAR DUCKY

You’re the one…

Radar Ducky Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style!

if you grew up on Sesame Street, you’ll know that line!

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And finally, the best and scariest for last . . .

RADAR WITCH!

This is so frightfully good, it’s downright scary!

radar-witch

Can you see the witch with the big hat cackling?

“Wahahahaha, I’ll get you, my Pretty! And your little dog, too!”

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Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style! Halloween Blind Pilot Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style

My favorite Halloween costume: a blind pilot!

And Now . . . 

The Darwin Awards—An Updated Encore Post

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Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style! cap'n aux Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style

Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style! cap'n aux Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style “The Darwin Awards 

salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally remove themselves from it…”


Halloween DARWIN AWARDS Aviation style!

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Following are a few aviation-related “Darwin Awards”*, most of which can be found at darwinawards.com.

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Forgive the gallows humor, folks, but I for one am happy to see these would-be, wannabe and inadvertent aviators excluded from the aeronautical gene pool . . . and from our world’s cockpits.  Direct links to the full reports can be found in the titles below.
Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style! Darwin-award-Best-Demotivational-poster Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style
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1.)  Mile High Club Epic Failure…

23 December 1991, Florida
National Transportation Safety Board report
Aircraft: PIPER PA-34-200T, 
Registration: N47506

Injuries: 2 Fatal.
Witnesses observed the airplane’s right wing fail in a dive and crash. Examination of the wreckage and bodies revealed that both occupants were partially clothed and the front right seat was in the full aft reclining position.  Neither body showed evidence of seatbelts or shoulder harnesses being worn.
The NTSB determines the probable cause(s) of this accident as follows:
The pilot in command’s improper in-flight decision to divert her attention to other activities not related to the conduct of the flight.


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2.)  JATO (Jet-Assisted Takeoff)…’67 Chevy-Style

Now debunked as urban legend, this story is nevertheless the most popular Darwin Award of all time.  Presumably, a moron strapped a military JATO rocket to his ’67 Chevy Impala, lit it off, and vaporized on the side of a mountain at 300 mph.  The only piece of the machine not atomized was the rear bumper with a sticker that read, “Hows my driving?  Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT.”

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Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style! cap'n aux blog aviation avgeek pilot pilots airplane plane airline captain

 3.)  “Flying while Intoxicated” . . . 
Or, “Hold my beer . . . watch THIS!”


After throwing down a few at a local pub, a Private Pilot hopped in his new Piper PA-32.  Without a proper preflight, he attempted to takeoff…with the gust lock still installed.  An anti-theft device, the Gust Lock freezes the control yoke full aft, mimicking a steep climb.  

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Climb steeply our hero did, according to witnesses going “straight up in the air like an acrobat,” followed by, “a nose dive.”

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4.) DB Cooper and his fans…

While infamous hijacker DB Cooper probably perished during his night jump out of a Boeing 727 into a -60° ice storm over Oregon, he has had his share of imitators.

Not to be outdone, in May, 2000, skyjacker Reginald Chua jumped out of Philippine Air Flight 812 A330…with a homemade parachute.  When our skyjacking ace chickened out at the last minute, a flight attendant helpfully pushed him out!  His body was found buried in the mud 4 days later.

When asked at a press conference why he was allowed to board the flight with a parachute, the Philippine Air spokesman replied nonchalantly, “Many passengers board our planes with parachutes.”

—More info on this at Wikipedia

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4.5) D.B. Cooper Wannabe Redux…sorta…

(Darwin Award Epic Failure!…er, Success! er…?!)

 His world crashing around him, financial consultant Marcus Schrenker opted for a bailout. A bail out of his plane, that is.

 Attempting to fake his own death, Schrenker made an emergency distress call from his Piper Meridian, then parachuted out, leaving it to crash.

Scrambled to assist, Jet fighters reported the door open and no evidence of a pilot aboard.  Authorities quickly caught on, and nabbed the wannabe Darwinian within 3 days.
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Charged with willful destruction of an aircraft and knowingly and willfully communicating a false distress message, he was sentenced to 51 months in prison and fined nearly 1 million dollars.

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5.) Sling Blade‘s a genius compared to these two…

 
 Casualties: 2 fatal.  A “crack” father and son lawn mowing team (or maybe they were high on crack) at Tucumcari, NM airport decided they were good enough to fly a plane on their own—without a lick of training.  


After successfully refueling a plane and taking off, they quickly found that even the simplest Cessna has a few more controls than the most sophisticated Toro.  (Flight path strikingly similar to #3, above.)

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—Quote by the inimitable Frank Zappa!
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6.) Let there be Lighter…

In 1981 A security guard at a California airport moonlighted as a gas thief by siphoning fuel from planes all night.


When one tank proved troublesome, said guard  peered into the gas tank to diagnose the problem, then lit a match…





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7.) What time is it, Captain?  It’s Kaboom time! (Hamas terrorist style)…Or, Divine Retribution, Darwinian Style!

While not really aviation-related, I want to end with a bang—involving terrorist Darwin recipients!

Excerpt from article, too well-written to be monkeyed with:

A member of the military wing of Gaza’s ruling terrorist movement Hamas, who went by the name of Khalout Majid (until he went kaboom), died when a bomb he was guarding went off …

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Would you like a ticket in Evolving…



Back in 1999, in Jerusalem, the switch away from Daylight Saving Time raised havoc with Palestinian terrorists. The Palestinians refused to live on “Zionist Time,” with dire consequences:
At precisely 5:30 PM on Sunday, September 5, 1999, two coordinated car bombs exploded in different cities, killing three terrorists who were transporting the bombs. . . 

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…or De-volving?







. . . the bombs had been prepared in a Palestine-controlled area, and set to detonate on Daylight Saving Time. But the confused drivers had already switched to Standard Time… As a result, the cars were still en-route when the explosives detonated, removing the terrorists from humanity’s genetic considerations.


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In fairness to our poor Dead Terrorists, I’ll allow one of them to speak out here, on behalf of himself and his fellow deceased Jihadians…

Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style!

2016 UPDATES . . .

While it’s always a challenge to find aviation-related Darwin updates each year, here’s a couple gems I thought you’d enjoy!

Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style! Honorable Mention 2016

paraglider-darwin Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style! While this paraglider, who called himself “Bruno,” survived, he applied for his aviation Darwin Award in spectacular fashion, by leaving 3,000 Vancouver residents without power for several hours on the night of April 16, 2016, while authorities rescued him.

 An embarrassed local paragliding club issued this statement: “Bruno” is not a member of the local paragliding community, whose members all have pilot ratings, and  only sanctioned flying is done under strict conditions. This “rogue” flight casts us all in a bad light.

Story: http://news.nationalpost.com/news/world/three-thousand-without-power-in-north-vancouver-after-paraglider-gets-stuck-in-hydro-lines

 

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LOOK! UP IN THE SKY! IT’S A BIRD! IT’S A PLANE! IT’S A…PLANK!

Excerpt from Darwin.com: “‘Planking’ is the peculiar wit of lying flat as a plank in unusual locations–train tracks, fire hydrants, clotheslines–and posting public photographs, spreading joy.

“This Australian craze had infected poor Mr. Acton B., a (former) planking enthusiast who was not aware that Balconies Are The #1 One Cause of Gravity-Fed Darwin Awards.
“Not knowing he was doomed to repeat the lesson…

Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style! cap'n aux blog aviation avgeek pilot pilots airplane plane airline captain

“Camera ready, the 20-year-old stretched himself out face-down on the railing, arms by his sides, stiff as a plank, balanced. Down he fell. Descent of man.” Calvin-HobbsHalloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style!

Thirsty for more? Here’s a link to a blog with a few aviation-related accidents I found:

http://www.gremline.com/index_files/page0029.htm

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HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
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Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style!

Related Cap’n Aux Posts

Halloween Darwin Awards Aviation Style!

Related Links
  • Gremline, an online aviation safety digest, examining lessons from dumb pilots…
  • Sadly, even professional pilots need to be culled from the herd from time to time… 
  • Additional Wikipedia link…
  • Urban Legends–multiple Darwin Award links, and debunks 
  • Get the book, “Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action,” at Amazon.com (and don’t forget to order My Books while you’re there!)