#Blogformation: “Stranger Than Fiction”!

August 7, 2013
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True airplane tales that are
STRANGER THAN FICTION!
— — — — —
STOP THE PRESSES!
Flash News:
Several of your “Blogging in Formation” Team is now on the TOP 100 Leaderboard for
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and now…
True airplane tales that are
STRANGER THAN FICTION!

“Mysterious Dancing Lights of Afghanistan”—see story, below!

Let’s play a game called, “Once upon a Time.”

Each question below tells two stories, one fact, one fiction.

Can you guess which is the real McCoy?

Pre-solo Ground School Level:
“Critters on a Plane” . . .

1. A cool dude fights a bunch of Reptilia Serpentes on an aircraft in flight.

2. A Boeing 737 airliner has a midair collision . . . with a fish.

Fact: 2. In 1987, an Alaska Airlines jet on departure out of PJNU (Juneau, AK), narrowly missed colliding with a bald eagle. Startled, the eagle dropped its freshly caught salmon—right on the windshield of said jet!

Alaska Airlines named the now-famous Boeing 737, Salmon Thirty Salmon; the “fishy tale” was even featured in Ripley’s Believe it or Not!

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A great account from Airways Magazine:
http://www.airwaysmag.com/channels.html?article_id=78&channel_id=7
Note—the eagle was found to be at fault: http://www.nytimes.com/1987/04/01/us/fish-strikes-jet-in-air-eagle-is-held-at-fault.html

I got your Snakes on a Plane, right here!

(The m’f’n infamous line, from the m’f’n movie, Snakes on a Plane):

Warning! F-bomb alert!

…And apparently the true sequel—Bees on a Plane!:
http://www.theaviationwriter.com/2013/07/us-airways-bees-swarm-1271.html
Corollary critter tale—another true tale, of a reported near-miss . . . with a shark!
See my post, The Life Aquatic & the Battle for Air Supremacy: http://capnaux.com/?p=144

Solo Level:
Jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, for fun and profit . . .

1. Skyjacker D.B. Cooper successfully robs a B-727 inflight, parachutes out the back, and lives happily ever after.

2. Financially troubled Financial Consultant Mark Schrenker fakes his death by crashing a Piper Meridian.

Fact: 2. While D.B. Cooper’s memory lives on in infamy as the world’s most succesful hijacker, he most likely perished upon skydiving into a -60° rainstorm over the Oregon wilderness.

His world crashing around him, financial consultant Marcus Schrenker opted for a bailout. A bail out of his plane, that is. Attempting to fake his own death, Schrenker made an emergency distress call from his Piper Meridian, then parachuted out, leaving it to crash. Authorities quickly caught on, and nabbed the fleeing Schrenker, who was charged with willful destruction of an aircraft and willfully communicating a false distress message. He was sentenced to 51 months in prison and fined nearly 1 million dollars.

Solo Cross Country:

Stowing away in perfectly good landing gear, for fun and profit . . .

1. A man stows away in the landing gear of a Jumbo Jet and dies.
2. A man stows away in the landing gear of a Jumbo Jet—and survives.

The Stowaway seat—it’s FREE!
And WHAT A VIEW!!!

Fact: A trick question: Both!
The world is filled with tales of #1, but there have only been a few known cases of #2!

Most recent: In June, 2010, a 20-year-old Romanian stowaway hid in the undercarriage of a jumbo jet and survived temperatures of -41c at 25,000ft during a free flight into Britain. He was even . . . let go by police!

Story: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1285231/Stowaway-survives-flight-Austria-UK-tucked-landing-gear-private-jet.html

PPL (Private Pilot License):
Don’t try this at home! Or the airport, or . . .

1. A father/son airport groundskeeping team decides to take a Cessna up for a joyride—without a lick of training.

2. A would-be Jet Jock straps a military JATO (Jet-Assisted Take Off) rocket to his ’67 Chevy Impala, lights it off . . . and said Jockstrap vaporizes on the side of a mountain at 300 mph.

Fact: 1. While the JATO rocket car remains the most famous “Darwin Award” of all time, it has now been debunked as urban legend. In real life, however, the father/son aerial lawn mowing team shared a similar fate.

Fatalities: 2—one father, one son.

For more info on the last two questions above, see my October, 2012 Post, Darwin Awards—Aviation Style: http://capnaux.com/?p=103

Commercial Crop Duster:
“Some Ting Wong” with this picture . . .

1. Flying his whirlybird on April Fool’s Day, Alaska bush pilot Ralph Olafsen burns a bunch of tires in a dormant volcano, creating mass pandamonium.

2. TV station gets royally “Punk’d” while identifying the pilots of a crash.
(OK, unless you’ve been living on the dark side of the moon for the past two months, you should be able to get this one!)

Fact: 2. While #1 really did happen, Ralph Olafsen is the fictional culprit who lights it off in my novel, The Last Bush Pilots. His volcanic prank was inspired by one Oliver “Porky” Bickar, who’s real prank ranks as one of the Top Ten April Fool’s jokes of all time.

Link: http://www.olypen.com/sitkacds/porky.htm
Ralph’s Volcanic Prank: http://capnaux.com/?p=80

However, while reporting on the recent Asiana 214 crash in KSFO, KTVU of Oakland, CA, fell for this royal scam . . . Leaving them with some serious kim chi on their faces:

Direct Link: http://youtu.be/VqjlhtKIToo

Here’s Colbert’s take on it: http://www.hulu.com/watch/511370

Instrument Rating:
8 pints between the bottle and the throttle . . .

1. A pilot flying drunk takes off with the gust lock installed and lives.

2. An airline pilot convicted of drunk flying and sentenced to prison, is once again flying airliners.

Fact: 2. Flying Drunk is the autobiography of Flight Engineer Joseph Balzar, who in 1980 was fired from Northwest Airlines—along with his First Officer and Captain—for flying while intoxicated. All three were convicted and sent to Federal prison. Now two decades sober, author Balzar is once again a pilot at another major airline.

#1 really happened as well—but with fatal results.
Again, see my post, The Darwin Awards—Aviation Style.

CFI (Certified Flight Instructor):

“Critters on a Plane,” Redux . . .

1. Cap’n Aux flies three bear cubs in his Cessna 207.
2. Cap’nAux flies three “comfort pigs” in his Airbus.

Fact: 1. While I did in fact once fly a “comfort pig” named Webb from Charlotte (no, really!), it was only one bovine. However, I did escort three orphaned bear cubs in Alaska, which inspired another tall tale, that of “the orphaned three,” in my novel, The Last Bush Pilots.
Link: Amazon Book Link

ATPL (Airline Transport Pilot License):
The coolest pilot of them all!

1. A girl born with no arms becomes a licensed pilot.

2. Emmy Award winning actor Peter Dinklage—a dwarf—becomes a licensed pilot.

Fact: 1. To the best of my knowledge, Peter Dinklage—the Emmy-winning breakout star of HBO’s Game of Thrones—is not a licensed pilot. But if he was, he’d be one of the world’s coolest!

Jessica Cox, however, is the world’s first licensed airline pilot with no arms!

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The coolest pilot—EVER!!!

A licensed Recreational pilot and Tae Kwon Do black belt,

Jessica is Cap’n Aux’s greatest pilot-hero ever—

HANDS DOWN!

(Excuse the tacky pun, but I have a feeling Jessica would laugh!)

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Some day I hope to meet Jessica, who lives just down the block in Tucson, Arizona, and blog to you all about it!

Jessica’s story:

Direct link: http://youtu.be/S2ecMqktmS8

And that, my friends, is stranger—and way, way cooler—than fiction!

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BONUS TALE—LATE ENTRY

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My brother Allen sent me this link, about the “mysterious dancing lights of Afghanistan”—
an incredible and touching story!

Link: http://goo.gl/mYl2G6
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Oh, and PS. . .
What happened to the near miss with that shark, you ask?
Sadly, it ended in tragedy.

Fatality: one flying shark!
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POST-FLIGHT CHECKLIST

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RELATED CAP’N AUX POSTS:

The Life Aquatic & the Battle for Air Supremacy: http://capnaux.com/?p=144
The Darwin Awards, Aviation-style: http://capnaux.com/?p=103
That’s How I Blogroll!: http://capnaux.com/?p=93
April Fool’s!: http://capnaux.com/?p=80

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