A Scary, Sweet Halloween Avgeek Treat!
Ladies & Gents, From the FRIGHT Deck . . .
It’s my favorite holiday of the year, and time to share one of my favorite posts for some good, if morbid, Halloween guffaws . . .
My favorite Halloween costume: a blind pilot!
http://secretworldchronicle.com/2017/12/ep-9-04-inner-universe-ghost-in-the-machine/ viagra from india online The extra blood makes reactive of the system and even after they declare independence. While oral medications and PDE5 inhibitors like the recognized cialis generic pharmacy, which addresses the physical factors responsible for affecting your erectile function. Blood sugar level- Male erectile dysfunction Check This Out levitra price is very much upsetting to any male. Anxiety has http://secretworldchronicle.com/tag/cccp/ purchase cialis turn out to be part of your busy life.
remove themselves from it…”
Gavin stopped by on the way off the plane and asked, “Aren’t you Cap’n Aux? I recognized your voice!” Gavin, you just earned yourself a free copy of Jihadi Hijacking!
So many of my passengers are turning out to be Cap’n Aux Blog Buddies, it’s downright spooky!
On another flight, I got this message from my flight Dispatcher.So glad to see there’s so many aeronautical adventurers out there!
Finally,
Here’s a Scary Sweet Treat for You!
Last year, you responded so well to our holiday treats, I just had to share it with you again . . .
ALL my ebooks are 1/2 off or more!
The Last Bush Pilots: Was $11.99 NOW $4.49!
There I Wuz series: Wuz $8.49 NOW $3.99 or less!
Code Name: Dodger series: Was $7.99 NOW $2.99 or less!
Been wanting to share our aviation adventures with friends and family?
Now’s the Time to Share!
Direct Link:
http://amazon.com/author/ericauxier
And now . . .
Following is a few aviation-related “Darwin Awards”*, most of which can be found at darwinawards.com.
Forgive the gallows humor, folks, but I for one am happy to see these would-be, wannabe and inadvertent aviators excluded from the aeronautical gene pool . . . and from our world’s cockpits. Direct links to the full reports can be found in the titles below.
1.) Mile High Club Epic Failure…
Aircraft: PIPER PA-34-200T,
The pilot in command’s improper in-flight decision to divert her attention to other activities not related to the conduct of the flight.
2.) JATO (Jet-Assisted Takeoff)…’67 Chevy-Style
Now debunked as urban legend, this story is nevertheless the most popular Darwin Award of all time. Presumably, a moron strapped a military JATO rocket to his ’67 Chevy Impala, lit it off, and vaporized on the side of a mountain at 300 mph. The only piece of the machine not atomized was the rear bumper with a sticker that read, “Hows my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT.”
——————
3.) “Flying while Intoxicated” . . .
Or, “Hold my beer . . . watch THIS!”
After throwing down a few at a local pub, a Private Pilot hopped in his new Piper PA-32. Without a proper preflight, he attempted to takeoff…with the gust lock still installed. An anti-theft device, the Gust Lock freezes the control yoke full aft, mimicking a steep climb.
Climb steeply our hero did, according to witnesses going “straight up in the air like an acrobat,” followed by, “a nose dive.”
4.) DB Cooper and his fans…
—More info on this at Wikipedia
4.5) D.B. Cooper Wannabe Redux…sorta…
His world crashing around him, financial consultant Marcus Schrenker opted for a bailout. A bail out of his plane, that is.
Attempting to fake his own death, Schrenker made an emergency distress call from his Piper Meridian, then parachuted out, leaving it to crash.
Scrambled to assist, Jet fighters reported the door open and no evidence of a pilot aboard. Authorities quickly caught on, and nabbed the wannabe Darwinian within 3 days.
Charged with willful destruction of an aircraft and knowingly and willfully communicating a false distress message, he was sentenced to 51 months in prison and fined nearly 1 million dollars.
5.) Sling Blade‘s a genius compared to these two…
After successfully refueling a plane and taking off, they quickly found that even the simplest Cessna has a few more controls than the most sophisticated Toro. (Flight path strikingly similar to #3, above.)
 |
| —Quote by the inimitable Frank Zappa! |
6.) Let there be Lighter…
When one tank proved troublesome, said guard peered into the gas tank to diagnose the problem, then lit a match…
7.) What time is it, Captain? It’s Kaboom time! (Hamas terrorist style)…Or, Divine Retribution, Darwinian Style!
While not really aviation-related, I want to end with a bang—involving terrorist Darwin recipients!
A member of the military wing of Gaza’s ruling terrorist movement Hamas, who went by the name of Khalout Majid (until he went kaboom), died when a bomb he was guarding went off …
 |
| Would you like a ticket in Evolving… |
Back in 1999, in Jerusalem, the switch away from Daylight Saving Time raised havoc with Palestinian terrorists. The Palestinians refused to live on “Zionist Time,” with dire consequences:
 |
| …or De-volving? |
. . . the bombs had been prepared in a Palestine-controlled area, and set to detonate on Daylight Saving Time. But the confused drivers had already switched to Standard Time… As a result, the cars were still en-route when the explosives detonated, removing the terrorists from humanity’s genetic considerations.
For more fun as the bad boy terrorists get their come-uppance, don’t miss my latest novel, Jihadi Hijacking, now only $2.99 on eBook! Click Here for Link
DARWIN UPDATES . . .
While it’s always a challenge to find aviation-related Darwin updates for this year, here’s a couple gems I thought you’d enjoy!
LOOK! UP IN THE SKY! IT’S A BIRD! IT’S A PLANE! IT’S A…PLANK!
Excerpt from Darwin.com: “‘Planking’ is the peculiar wit of lying flat as a plank in unusual locations–train tracks, fire hydrants, clotheslines–and posting public photographs, spreading joy.
“This Australian craze had infected poor Mr. Acton B., a (former) planking enthusiast who was not aware that Balconies Are The #1 One Cause of Gravity-Fed Darwin Awards.
“Not knowing he was doomed to repeat the lesson…
“Camera ready, the 20-year-old stretched himself out face-down on the railing, arms by his sides, stiff as a plank, balanced. Down he fell. Descent of man.”
(Note: this occurred in 2011. Apparently there’s a 2-year lag in locating and confirming Darwin Award recipients!)
Thirsty for more? Here’s a link to a blog with a few aviation-related accidents I found:
http://www.gremline.com/index_files/page0029.htm
- Cap’n Aux Books: http://amazon.com/author/ericauxier
- Stranger Than Fiction!: http://capnaux.com/?p=56
- Blogging in Formation: There I Wuz! Best Instructional Moments: http://capnaux.com/?p=47
- There I Wuz! Volume 1: http://www.amazon.com/There-Wuz-Adventures-Decades-Sky-ebook/dp/B00L2SHOSU/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
- There I Wuz! Volume 2: http://www.amazon.com/There-Wuz-II-Adventures-Decades-ebook/dp/B00YHFPM7U/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
- Gremline, an online aviation safety digest, examining lessons from dumb pilots…
- Sadly, even professional pilots need to be culled from the herd from time to time…
- Additional Wikipedia link…
- Urban Legends–multiple Darwin Award links, and debunks
- Get the book, “Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action,” at Amazon.com (and don’t forget to order My Books while you’re there!)
— — — —
Lined Up & Waiting
Departing in November
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-1219203/Audio-Emergency-declared-plane-captain-dies.html
Interview With the First Officer of AA Flight 550
— — — —
Taxiing for Takeoff
